Okay so over the weekend I went to Tampa for Super Bowl. I saw alot of very attractive men and one in particular that I was my age, seemed to have good sense and a strong sense of self. But instead of me simply having a regular conversation I just HAD to explain what I don’t do even though he never really asked.
What is it about some women that make us think that we have to explain ourselves to people who probably don’t care one way or the other. It got so bad that this individual said that I “killed it”. What makes it even worse is that I said so much that I don’t even know what exactly killed anything. The truth is I was feeling this person physically but couldn’t stop thinking ahead of the current situation….which was nothing more than a conversation. Instead I went into a semi-defense where I had to maintain my “integrity” at all costs.
So fast forward to the next day…no text back and me “killing it” LOL. I thought to myself at what point do I really truly not care what people think. I don’t look to be with someone based off of what they can do for me, but rather how that person makes me feel when I’m around them. But instead I operate on how I think I’ll feel about that person 4 months from now. I try to keep thinking of formulas of how not to move to fast but I keep fucking up.
The following was my new Philosophy
Fellowship, Friendship, Relationship in that order
Because if you cannot get past the first 2 the the 3rd is impossible. Shouldn’t you know someone before you share your body with them? Or if you feel comfortable and it’s something u want to do…do you just do what you feel? That is the question… I’m just all confused!
So next up for me is Grammy events then All-Star…let’s see if I kill it for someone else or if the person I’m speaking about isnt too done…either way I guess we all have things to work on and being stingy with the pussy is def not a bad thing 😉
Always B.Known 
Nick
I always thought you were pretty back in middle school, but you’ve become a truly beautiful woman since then. You can afford to be selective. Never be afraid to overthink relationships. It’s better to see too far down the road than to ignore what’s in front of you now. What you decide to overlook will most likely end up nagging at your subconscious until you can’t take it anymore.
Listen to that little voice. It always knows what’s best for you. If somebody freaks out because you want to share with them what it says to you, then they can’t handle you being yourself. Keep faith. There’s somebody out there who will respect and admire your openness.
Stephen D :-)
Fellowship, friendship then relationship is a great way to go B. As you say, if you are gonna be intimate with someone then they have to be compatible on somea basic level. Then if you feel them like that, it’s ur decision from there. I tell people that I am associated with they are not my friends and some get offended. We as a society have lost, well some of us, the meaning of a friend. It takes time for someone to be my friend and so I don’t have many friends, but the ones that I have I can call and talk to, n we can always have a BLAST. So hey you go gurl, I say stic,k tith that philosophy and see how it works for you. Sometimes tho low key, we get those in the moment urges that our cognitive mind doesn’t get a chence to have a say on, our hormones do, lol.