Anytime I read something that moves me internally I feel like it’s my duty to share it with as many people as possible. Please read with an open heart and mind it truly touched me! Thanks Justin!!!
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For the Married, Thinking about Marriage, and the Divorced – A MUST READ!
by ‘Justin Jones-Fosu on Tuesday, July 27, 2010 at 10:01pm
MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6
By: Justin Jones-Fosu
If you plan on being at this years M.A.G.I.C convention or you happen to be in Las Vegas on August 17th make sure you make it to this event. Good food, Clothes, Shoes, Music and good people! See you there!
I don’t watch music videos too often, but I love these 2! The Polar opposites of phases in relationships I LOVE it because I’ve been in both situations that are described in the songs! The Eminem video is highschool and college all over again, but he will always be my first love(the song not the violence LOL)! Enjoy!
I COULD NOT stop laughing because this man is DEAD serious…they are DEAD freakin serious!
Does he have on enough jewelry??? I’d really like to know what Lawrence thinks about this.
Watch at the 40second mark how she looks at him when he says “this bitch”…what is the world coming to PURE comedy and sadness all at the same time!
She looks like Lawrence Fishburne so I’m going to just go with everyone else on this one!
I haven’t had any good old fashioned drama in years, but the past week has definitely been a doozy! From my crush being confirmed as a certified dickwad ( which I already kind of knew), to this little girl calling my phone this morning I’m somewhat in a state of shock.
My Morning began as such….
Before we get to today with this particular story let me give you all some back ground information.
I lived in another state for 12 weeks in the summer of 07′ and met a young man with who I never shared anything but a couple laughs and friendly conversation. Through all of his trials and tribulations I’ve always remained his friend, and eventhough we don’t speak too often we both make it a point to check up on one another every now and again. We have been trying or talking about trying to connect for the past 3 years and it just never happens and not too long ago I found out he had a girlfriend, no sweat because we are just friends, yet we have entertained the notion of being intimate. The last time we spoke he didn’t have a girl. So fast forward to the last 72hrs, he’s texting me asking how my weekend is, asking how I’m doing and so on and so on, which is normal. So being the comfortable person I am and going thru my 9 month hiatus I mention to him that I almost had a mishap this weekend because I was thinking with an illogical part of my anantomy if you know what I mean. His response was; “I can help you with that”, my response was ; ” Your full of shit”, he proceeds to tell me to hop a flight to where he lives….needless to say I progress the conversation in a totally different direction. So last night(7/27) I randomly text him and asked when he was coming to Vegas, because he said he’s been working and that’s why he hasn’t made it!!!!
NOW THE BULL….
I woke up this morning to 2 missed calls from one of his phones (we rarely talk on the phone), and a missed call from a 501 #. So I’m half sleep and look at the missed calls and go back to bed. Then I get the following message from him:
“DON’T TXT THAT 870 # AND IF A 479 NUM CALL OR TEXT U IGNORE IT”
Now being the chick I am I already have an idea of what’s going on, but I want him to tell me. He goes on to state that he believed his girl had someone else steal his phone, and it was some “nigga” ish going on and jealousy. I call the 501# back and a young lady answers the phone and states that she had the wrong #. So I just chalked it up and let it go because we DON’T kick it like that and as far as I’m concerned I had done nothing wrong, I didn’t even know he still had a girl. So I shake it off a little, eventhough being involved in something that had NOTHING to do with me rubbed me the wrong way, I had to keep a good attitude. I just looked at it like a young girl who had some misplaced anger.
I had pretty much let it go until I saw the 4th call from this 479#! So I text the # and it went a little something like this.
Me: Who is this?
Her: This is (insert mans name here)
Me: Last name?
Her: (insert name) u text my phone last night, this my other #
Me: Sweet heart lose my # I’ve been informed that his phone was stolen, u dnt have anything to worry about over this way, so PLEASE stop calling me from all these #’s
Her: Who’s phone has been stolen
Me: I know exactly what’s going on so you can stop calling me from all these #’s this ish is mad childish
Her: What’s childish is you texting someone who’s in a relationship and then acting like u dnt know whts going on, I’m not starting anything with you, but just need to know if (insert name) is who you meant to text
Me: LOL 1. I didn’t know he still had a girl and why would I. 2. If you read the text they go both ways. I haven’t even seen him in 3 years. You need to work on your self esteem and talk to ur man and stop playing on my phone and grow up. Who still plays on peoples phones and steals phones, that’s weak as hell. But I have already given you too much energy. I’ll pray for you and your situation. ~ Stay Blessed hope everything works out.
And to add insult to injury she CALLS my phone. I answered and she begins to say sorry then the phone hangs up, it calls me right back and it’s him. Now take in mind he has already given me the run down on the situation, I automatically go into defense mode and start to explain, ” I told that girl we’re just cool and I haven’t seen you in three years” , then I realize what type of situation I had been put in and that they were causing me to be inconveninced. So I told him to stop acting brand new and that I had NOTHING to do with anything that was going on and for both of them to lose my number cause I’m not the one. So basically he was trying to flex in front of his girl to pretend like he was trying to clean a situation up when there wasn’t one!
So let me say this: If you feel the need to go through your mans phone then maybe you need to re-evaluate your current situation. At the age of 25 considering I am single, celibate and for the most part stay to myself, I should not have to be a victim of another grown womans insecurity. My attitude is under control these days and I held back some things I wanted to say, but I’ve been in her situation….in highschool, I understood her frustration. Funny thing is I don’t know her name and wouldn’t know her if I saw her in the street. I don’t encourage anyone to entertain a situation to the extent I did, but I was compelled to have the last word! Unfortunately I can’t stand for things like this in my life so I lost a friend today! His first move should have been to call and apologize for him and her and we would have been good, but instead he chose to call me and play stupid in order to save face!
#DOBETTER!!!!
PSA: If you are about to go into someones phone have a game plan on how you’re going to react when you find what you are looking for. Never make your first move to call the person in the phone, if it’s like that confront the person you’re spying on or better yet don’t look for dirt because you will indeed find it. When you go looking for dirt prepare to get messy! or just GROW UP!!!! Geeze okay I’m done! LOL
What do you guys think….
I’m being able to post music a little better bear with me, until then Thanks YOUTUBE!
I saw this poet recite this on Def Poetry Jam a couple years back and it’s just always stuck with me…
What do you believe in????
Check out http://www.staceyannchin.com for more…. enjoy
Imagination is the bridge
between the things we know for sure
and the things we need to believe
when our worlds become unbearable
So I know the way my tongue feels
wrapped around a sliver of East Indian mango
I know it reminds me of a time of giant breadfruit trees
skinned six year-old knees
and pungent pimento seeds drying on a sheet of galvanized zinc
I know the sounds I make during sex
know them because my lover makes them for me
when she wants to remind me that I am not always in control
I also know if you are black/ male and Mobile America
the police will pull you over- especially
if you drive an expensive car
I know if you speak differently from the rest of the crowd
chances are your contemporaries have already made fun of you
We all know this world is difficult
because we each have to live here
and in this time of schoolboy bullets
biological warfare and kiddie porn
it takes guts to believe in any God
so I practice on believing in the smaller things
till I am able to make room for the rest
I begin with believing there’s a Santa Claus
except I believe Saint Nicholas is a holiday transvestite
and I believe in monsters lurking under the bed
because they give our children something to conquer
before the world begins to conquer them
And I believe in the steady inflation of the tooth fairy
donate more than one nickel to that cause
because a dime under a pillow makes it easier
to endure the loss of a molar
prepares for the greater loss of a teacher
or a mother to the NYPD
And I believe in the identity of the Easter Bunny
believe he’s the same person as Bugs Bunny
which means being schizophrenic isn’t always bad
means when I’m tired of being a black feminist poet
I could go rally for rights of the new age transsexuals
get them an interview with Rosie O’Donell or Oprah
I believe I could find them a few friends right there on Sesame Street
and contrary to popular belief
I believe Bert and Ernie are straight
believe they’re just waiting for the right girls to come along
but I believe Kermit the Frog is a closet Dyke
and that’s why he has issues with pushy lesbians like Miss Piggy
And I believe most lovers
will lie to you eventually
and though I believe two wrongs don’t ever make a right
–sometimes slashing his tires makes you feel better
and I believe Dharma and Greg are funny
but only if they make you laugh
and I believe Pinky and the Brain are revolutionaries
because-every night-they try to take over the world
like them, I believe there will always be something to fight for
and I believe everyone should believe in something
anything – if it helps you make it through the day
so I believe in Ashanti spirits
in spite of what the pragmatists say
I believe in unbelievable phenomena
like telepathy and karmic shape-shifters
crafting futures from the moon
I believe in that elusive world peace
I believe if I believe – it really could come soon
and I believe in unexpected and capricious friendships
I believe in trusting with the tenacity of a fool
And I believe in believing everyday
-and for as long as we can-
I believe we should believe in something we don’t know for sure
acknowledge the range of possibilities
unlimited by what we see
move reality with imagination
we decide what our destinies will be
This was one of the first Mayweather events I had the pleasure of working on! Yeah everyone stayed at the holiday in, but for year 2 we had the lobby jumpin: Trey Songz, Vivica Foxx, Taraji Henson, Tank, J. Holiday, Regina King Ray J. Shut Grand Rapids down! I miss those days as you can see we went in!
If you are in Las Vegas this weekend and you need something to do then there is no other place than EVE Nightclub see Flyer below for additional details! See you there!!!
Always B.Known 
