May 25th

Ditch Friday Palms Pool and Bungalows

Afro Jack @ Tryst Inside The Wynn

Benny Benassi @ Marquee Inside The Cosmopolitan

Cassie @ Lavo inside the Palazzo

Megan Good @ Gallery inside Planet Hollywood

Holly Madison @ Chateau inside The Paris

Trey Songz @ Tao inside the Venetian

Saturday May 26th

Busta Rhymes @ The Palms Pool and Bungalows (Day Party)

Tao Beach @ The Venetian

Marquee Day Club @ The Cosmopolitan

Liquid Pool @ Aria Resort and Casino

Fabolous @ Haze Inside Aria

Ludacris @ Rain inside The Palms

DJ Karma @ The Bank

Sean Kingston @  Lava Inside the Palazzo

#FMA Saturdays  Presented by The Movement @ Sedona on 215 and Flamingo

Sunday May 27th

REHAB!!!  With Ne-Yo DJ Vice and DJ Eric D-Lux

Lil Jon @ Tryst inside the Wynn

Nelly @ 1OAK inside The Mirage

Redman @ LAX inside the Luxor

Akon @ Haze inside Aria

This is it for now…Stay tuned for tips and pointers!!!

B.Known!!!

Great Documentary on my boy Renaldo…they did an awesome job, very inspiring!

Though my parents have been thru financial hardships, health issues, raising kids, a grand child, losing their home, they never left each others sides. They toughed it out and weathered the storm and in one year God and having faith, love and a solid foundation has brought them through.

Not too long after my post my dad told me about a new casino opening, I told him about some positions he should look for and he was hired, he’s now been promoted once with a second promotion on the way. I told you we lost our home, that our whole family had a part in having built only to lose it to short sale. Three months ago may parents moved into a beautiful 3 bedroom house in a beautiful neighborhood, and they are home owners again. Where do you think they would be had someone given up? On the darkest day they had faith and saw the bigger picture. So many people lack the ability to see the bigger picture. I told you about the trials it wouldn’t be right to leave out the triumph.

Is He Worth Upgrading?
As posted on www.necolebitchie.com

Remember when Nightline did that awful “Face-Off” about the plight of the single Black woman back in 2009 featuring Hill Harper, Jacque Reid, Sherri Shepherd, Steve Harvey and the other guy whom I refuse to name? In one segment, Hill Harper told an anecdote about an established female attorney realizing the potential in a male suitor. Although she was higher up on the chain of command, this young man didn’t let her position, or his for that matter, prevent him from pursuing her. After turning him down a number of times she eventually gave in to one date. The rest is history. Literally. Harper’s narrative was the story of Michelle Robinson and Barack Obama. His point in telling the story was to suggest women date potential as Michelle once saw the potential in Barack.

Sherri Shepherd immediately retorted by proving Harper’s logic was flawed. Yes, Michelle took a chance on Barack who was fresh out of law school while she was already an associate at the firm, but he had a law degree from Harvard. She wasn’t dating the type of potential who was riding the bus and working at Burger King. I was so happy Shepherd corrected Harper on his “dating potential” analogy.

But dating potential isn’t uncommon for women. It isn’t unusual for a woman to date a man who isn’t up-to-par of her standards. Women will sometimes invest time and money to fix him up. Beyonce sang about upgrading men with her hit record “Upgrade U.” Bey sings:

Partner let me upgrade you
Audemars Piguet you
Switch your neck ties to purple labels
Upgrade you

Introduce you to some new things &
Upgrade you
I can (up),
Can I (up), let me
Upgrade you

The problem with upgrading a man is you rarely see a return on your investment. And what happens when the two of you break up? All the women he dates from henceforth will reap the rewards of the new man you helped create. Nothing about upgrading a man seems appealing.

However, is it a double standard when it comes to men taking women from rags to riches?

When Kanye West met former stripper, Amber Rose, he saw something he apparently liked. She literally went from the pole to music videos to front row seats in Paris for Fashion Week. Kanye loved Amber Rose, which is evident by the lyrics of “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.” Ultimately, Kanye changed her life forever by dating her and exposing her to his world- the world of fame, power and fortune. And now that the couple has split Kanye is arguably kicking himself for creating a star that is now publicly dating another rapper.

Men dating women who aren’t in the same tax bracket, who aren’t as educated or come from a lower class, is nothing new. It is no big deal when men do it. But a woman upgrading a man is frowned upon. Something to ponder.

Dating more than anything is about compatibility. If your man is not compatible on basic levels: values, class, intelligence or common interests, the relationship won’t last. When you are dating someone you are compatible with there shouldn’t be a need to essentially change him through an upgrading process.

Clearly Beyonce is not upgrading anyone as she is married to the most powerful man in hip-hop. It is one thing to date potential similar to the potential Michelle Obama once saw in Barack Obama, as long as women remember he came to the table already a degreed intellect with morals and ambition. It is quite another to date “potential” if you are an Account Executive at a PR firm dating a weed head with three children working at the local grocery store who has no goals past surviving day to day.

Personally, I’m not in the business of playing fixer-upper. Spending money on a man to upgrade his status in life sounds like an unfulfilling job I’ll gladly pass on. For the ladies upgrading brothers, don’t be salty when the relationship goes sour. Nobody told you to turn Steve Urkel into Stefan.

Written By @WrittenByBene

April 14th, 2011 § 1 Comment

via: Why You are Not married
A good friend of mine sent this article to me regarding women and why they are not married. After reading it, I HAD to post it as part of The Dating Scene Volumes. This explains a ton of concepts that men feel women should understand, but more importantly, being that this was written by a woman, it explains a ton of concepts that WOMEN feel WOMEN should understand in regards to their hunt for the ultimate display of personal achievement, Marriage. Read it and leave comments… I am interested in hearing what women think about this article written by your fellow species:

Why You’re Not Married -
You want to get married. It’s taken a while to admit it. Saying it out loud — even in your mind — feels kind of desperate, kind of unfeminist, kind of definitely not you, or at least not any you that you recognize. Because you’re hardly like those girls on TLC saying yes to the dress and you would never compete for a man like those poor actress-wannabes on The Bachelor.

You’ve never dreamt of an aqua-blue ring box.

Then, something happened. Another birthday, maybe. A breakup. Your brother’s wedding. His wife-elect asked you to be a bridesmaid, and suddenly there you were, wondering how in hell you came to be 36-years-old, walking down the aisle wearing something halfway decent from J. Crew that you could totally repurpose with a cute pair of boots and a jean jacket. You started to hate the bride — she was so effing happy — and for the first time ever you began to have feelings about the fact that you’re not married. You never really cared that much before. But suddenly (it was so sudden) you found yourself wondering… Deep, deep breath… Why you’re not married.

Well, I know why.

How? It basically comes down to this: I’ve been married three times. Yes, three. To a very nice MBA at 19; a very nice minister’s son at 32 (and pregnant); and at 40, to a very nice liar and cheater who was just like my dad, if my dad had gone to Harvard instead of doing multiple stints in federal prison.

I was, for some reason, born knowing how to get married. Growing up in foster care is a big part of it. The need for security made me look for very specific traits in the men I dated — traits it turns out lead to marriage a surprisingly high percentage of the time. Without really trying to, I’ve become a sort of jailhouse lawyer of relationships — someone who’s had to do so much work on her own case that I can now help you with yours.

But I won’t lie. The problem is not men, it’s you. Sure, there are lame men out there, but they’re not really standing in your way. Because the fact is — if whatever you’re doing right now was going to get you married, you’d already have a ring on it. So without further ado, let’s look at the top six reasons why you’re not married.

1. You’re a Bitch.
Here’s what I mean by bitch. I mean you’re angry. You probably don’t think you’re angry. You think you’re super smart, or if you’ve been to a lot of therapy, that you’re setting boundaries. But the truth is you’re pissed. At your mom. At the military-industrial complex. At Sarah Palin. And it’s scaring men off.

The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. I am the mother of a 13-year-old boy, which is like living with the single-cell protozoa version of a husband. Here’s what my son wants out of life: macaroni and cheese, a video game, and Kim Kardashian. Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry? I didn’t think so. You’ve seen Kim Kardashian smile, wiggle, and make a sex tape. Female anger terrifies men. I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man’s fear and insecurity in order to get married — but actually, it’s perfect, since working around a man’s fear and insecurity is big part of what you’ll be doing as a wife.

2. You’re Shallow.
When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters: character. So it stands to reason that a man’s character should be at the top of the list of things you are looking for, right? But if you’re not married, I already know it isn’t. Because if you were looking for a man of character, you would have found one by now. Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit.

Instead, you are looking for someone tall. Or rich. Or someone who knows what an Eames chair is. Unfortunately, this is not the thinking of a wife. This is the thinking of a teenaged girl. And men of character do not want to marry teenaged girls. Because teenage girls are never happy. And they never feel like cooking, either.

3. You’re a Slut.
Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore — but they’re not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you’re having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin — it doesn’t stay recreational for long.

That’s due in part to this thing called oxytocin — a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm — that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It’s why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn’t even all that great and the next thing you know, you’re totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that’s how it happened. And since nature can’t discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you’re going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.

4. You’re a Liar.
It usually goes something like this: you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he’s not really available for a relationship. He has some condition that absolutely precludes his availability, like he’s married, or he gets around town on a skateboard. Or maybe he just comes right out and says something cryptic and open to interpretation like, “I’m not really available for a relationship right now.”

You know if you tell him the truth — that you’re ready for marriage — he will stop calling. Usually that day. And you don’t want that. So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to have sex for fun! You love having fun sex! And you don’t want to get in a relationship at all! You swear!
About ten minutes later, the oxytocin kicks in. You start wanting more. But you don’t tell him that. That’s your secret — just between you and 22,000 of your closest girlfriends. Instead, you hang around, having sex with him, waiting for him to figure out that he can’t live without you. I have news: he will never “figure” this out. He already knows he can live without you just fine. And so do you. Or you wouldn’t be lying to him in the first place.

5. You’re Selfish.
If you’re not married, chances are you think a lot about you. You think about your thighs, your outfits, your naso-labial folds. You think about your career, or if you don’t have one, you think about doing yoga teacher training. Sometimes you think about how marrying a wealthy guy — or at least a guy with a really, really good job — would solve all your problems.

Howevs, a good wife, even a halfway decent one, does not spend most of her day thinking about herself. She has too much s**t to do, especially after having kids. This is why you see a lot of celebrity women getting husbands after they adopt. The kids put the woman on notice: Bitch, hello! It’s not all about you anymore! After a year or two of thinking about someone other than herself, suddenly, Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford comes along and decides to significantly other her. Which is also to say — if what you really want is a baby, go get you one. Your husband will be along shortly. Motherhood has a way of weeding out the lotharios. — (Not sure if I agree with this one…)—

6. You’re Not Good Enough.
Oh, I don’t think that. You do. I can tell because you’re not looking for a partner who is your equal. No, you want someone better than you are: better looking, better family, better job.

Here is what you need to know: You are enough right this minute. Period. Not understanding this is a major obstacle to getting married, since women who don’t know their own worth make terrible wives. Why? You can fake it for a while, but ultimately you won’t love your spouse any better than you love yourself. Smart men know this.

I see this at my son’s artsy, progressive school. Of 183 kids, maybe six have moms who are as cute as you’re trying to be. They’re attractive, sure. They’re just not objects. Their husbands (wisely) chose them for their character, not their cup size.

Alright, so that’s the bad news. The good news is that I believe every woman who wants to can find a great partner. You’re just going to need to get rid of the idea that marriage will make you happy. It won’t. Once the initial high wears off, you’ll just be you, except with twice as much laundry.

Because ultimately, marriage is not about getting something — it’s about giving it. (— MESSAGE– ) Strangely, men understand this more than we do. Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession — a free-agent penis — and for us, it’s the culmination of a princess fantasy so universal, it built Disneyland.

The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don’t deserve it. Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to. But as you give him love anyway — because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self — you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:

Love.

Article: Why You are Not Married